One Good Lesson We Can Learn from the French

The French are easy to make fun of, especially these days when they can’t even work up the courage to defend Paras from marauding Muslim teenagers, much less a Nazi blitzkrieg.

Like many Americans since the French betrayed us over the War in Iraq, I won’t visit their miserable little country and I no longer buy French products. No wine, no cheese, no… well, they really don’t have much to offer besides those two items, which is another sign of French irrelevance.

But there is one thing the French do deserve credit for, and we ought to emulate them in this regard: shaving the heads of collaborators.

After World War II, the French went about collecting all the women (I’m not sure about the men, but knowing the French, they probably were too afraid to tackle a man–even a fellow Frenchman–so they concentrated on the girls instead) who slept with or otherwise collaborated with their German occupiers (wait a minute… didn’t all French women sleep with the Nazis?). The French vigilante squads probably roughed up the collaborators a bit. Then they shaved their heads as a mark of shame.

One of these days, we are going to get serious about the War on Terror. One of these days, we are going to start kicking ass and taking names, fighting with a ruthlessness that only comes from the gut when you realize that your entire civilization and way of life–as well as your life itself and your mortal remains–are at risk. I fear that such a day will come, but sadly, only after another 9/11 occurs. We just didn’t seem to get it the first time, but the day a nuclear, chemical or biological weapon goes off in a U.S. city and thousands, or tens of thousands, or even millions of our fellow citizens are murdered, we’ll surely get the message that it is time to take the gloves off. Then woe betide the terrorists and their allies.

I don’t want to see another 9/11 happen. But then, that is what separates me from the Democrats, the Bush-haters and, oh, yes, the French. I would rather go for it now, kill all the terrorists and their supporters and sympathizers today, torture captured terrorists into revealing everything there is to know about their operations before dispatching them to their just reward, where 71 virgins who all look like Helen Thomas are eagerly awaiting their arrival. But I am afraid there will be another 9/11.

After the gloves do come off and we realize we are in a fight to the death with one of the most vile, evil adversaries we have ever faced, public opinion should have shifted enough so that we might be ready to deal with our own collaborators, French style.

It will be time to start shaving heads, only Americans will do the men as well as the women. First, we can start with the Dixie Chicks, then Linda Ronstadt, Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, Howard Dean, Cindy Sheehan, Dan Rather, Mary Mapes, John Kerry, Jimmy Carter, editors of The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times and other so-called mainstream media personalities… and the list goes on. I would spare Helen Thomas, only because I don’t think the world just couldn’t take her any uglier. As for Michael Moore, I’d give the special treatment, shaving his head even… at neck level, Muslim style.

Many of these American-hating fifth columnists have already seen their livelihoods dry up and their reputations turn sour as people react to their treasonous ways. Good. That’s a start. But when the real day of reckoning comes, there needs to be a badge of shame for all the world to see, and shaved heads really fit the bill.

The day is coming. Until then, my fellow patriots, keep your clippers handy.

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