Monday, 19 January 2009
 

Bill Faith; My Buddy
Contributed by The Gray Dog

The following was forwarded to me from Russ Vaughn.  It is difficult to separate, Bill and Russ, as to  who did what first to give birth to Old War Dogs.

By Russ Vaughn

Bill Faith was my buddy, a term that has particular meaning for those who have worn a uniform in service to this country. And though I never met him, nor even heard his voice a single time, that’s how I will remember Bill, as my buddy, someone who served alongside me through victory and defeat, through thick and thin, but who always could be counted on to stand up and be counted when it counted most.

I must first apologize to Bill’s family and all of you out there for being tardy in posting my thoughts on Bill’s passing. Two months ago my wife and I were abruptly thrust into the role of primary caregivers for her almost ninety-year-old parents, a responsibility which has kept both of us away from our computers and me from my blogging efforts. It was only through an email from The Gray Dog, Mike Connelly, that I learned belatedly of Bill’s death.

I don’t even remember precisely when Bill and I became acquainted, just that it was sometime after John Kerry became the Democrat frontrunner in 2004 and this old Vietnam vet, like millions of my brothers, swore to do everything in my power to prevent that traitor from ever becoming commander in chief. Scott Swett, at Wintersoldier blog, first began posting my anti-Kerry rants, which were then picked up by the Freepers and spread to other like-minded sites. Shortly thereafter I received an email from Bill, telling me he would like to post my pieces at his Small Town Veteran blog. As soon as I visited the site, I knew I had found an ally, one who quickly became a long-distance friend and a valued editor of my sometimes rough expositions.

When Kerry was defeated in November 2004, Bill and I, like all our Vietnam veteran brothers who had fought to keep Kerry out of the presidency, were exhilarated and felt that at last we had been exonerated. In sharing that victory, we became buddies, and the bond became even stronger in the summer of 2006 when Bill became webmaster of our new blog, Old War Dogs, which may have been my brainstorm but was Bill’s baby from the outset. He built the pen and the doghouse from scratch and fed and watered that pup every day. And like most proud papas, he could get quickly cantankerous if he felt like someone was mistreating his dog, including me.

Bill kept OWD up and running all through this last election fiasco even though, like me, he was never more than lukewarm to the idea of John McCain as our candidate. But, good soldier that he was, Bill fought the good fight right up until the bitter end. And as bitter as it was for the rest of us, his email telling me that he was going to back away from daily blogging at OWD, made me aware that my buddy was battle weary and in need of some respite. I regret not then realizing just how badly needed it was.

Michelle Malkin’s farewell post to Bill includes my poem, The Sheepdogs, and I thank her for that because there was never a more dedicated Sheepdog than Bill Faith. He loved his flock, both the immediate, his family, especially his new grandbaby, and that much larger flock, his countrymen.

Bill, I’m gonna miss you, Buddy.

Russ Vaughn

Contributed by The Gray Dog on January 19, 2009 at 05:19 PM in Best of Old War Dogs, Bill Faith, Bill's Bites, Coming home, Current Affairs, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Thursday, 20 November 2008
 

Downright Pi**ing
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

We work, we toil through every day,
Seeking somehow to make our way.
We pay our taxes as we should,
To contribute to the greater good.
We honestly try to observe the rules,
Even the rules bad made by fools.
But why in the world should it ever be,
That we’re the ones required to pee?
 
As employees we must pass that test,
To bleed our bladders on request;
Proving that we’re fit to pay
Our taxes that somehow go astray.
And end up in the hands of those
With no demand to drain their hose;
No urine needed for them to collect
My drug-free funded welfare check.
 
Somehow I think there’s something missing
When only producers must prove by pi**ing.
 
Russ Vaughn

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on November 20, 2008 at 11:22 PM in Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Saturday, 01 November 2008
 

Semper I
Contributed by Bill Faith

A Russ Vaughn classic in honor of the fact it looks like Mad Jack's really going down this time. Originally posted 2006.07.23.

Semper I
Semper I is an old Marine Corps term applied to those selfish careerists who place their own success ahead of their men and the wellbeing of  the Corps. Congressman John Murtha is a living example of that disgraceful term.

A bugle blows in Arlington,
Lilting notes fill still sad air,
An eagle's tears a globe fall on,
Trail an anchor with despair,
For a man we'd wish had not to die,
Brave youth among the best,
A Marine, he lived for Semper Fi,
And with Semper Fi he'll rest.

So sadly is the contrast,
Between those who talk and fight;
Fat Pols for whom their war's past,
But now can't see the light,
Accusing brave young fighting men,
Of crimes they can't defend,
Disgraceful fat old congressmen,
Who've lost the will to win.

Yes there we see the difference,
Between those who fight to win,
And a congressman with no sense,
Who's committed grievous sin;
He's turned against his Corps,
And no one knows quite why,
Except he loves himself much more:
Classic case of Semper I.

Semper Fi to all Marines everywhere from an old paratrooper who holds Murtha in as much contempt as you do.

Russ Vaughn
327th Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division
Vietnam 65-66

Murtha portrait courtesy of BootMurtha.com

Contributed by Bill Faith on November 1, 2008 at 01:15 AM in Mad Jack Murtha, Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn, US Marine Corps | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Friday, 31 October 2008
 

Support the Wright Ad
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

A conservative organization, the National Republican Trust PAC is at this late hour in the campaign finally and belatedly taking the gloves off and hitting Obama on the issue of his hate-spewing minister, Mr. Jeremiah Wright. I will not dignify that racist hatemonger with the title of reverend.

Go here to http://nationalrepublicantrust.com/ and make a donation to help this group get their hard-hitting ads out there where those Americans who don’t pay attention until the waning days of elections may see them and see for the first time what the mainstream media won’t show them: their Messiah has a very messy past.

There are many things about Obama I find repugnant but the most despicable thing is the fact that he exposed his two lovely, young daughters to this kind of racial hatred under the mantle of religion and with his parental endorsement. Mommy and Daddy sat there Sunday after Sunday nodding their approval so the preacher must be right about those gutter Jews and those KKK whites. What a great set of parents, huh?

And then this slime ball father lied when FOX exposed it, claiming piously he never heard all this now well-documented racial hatred. Yeah Wright!

We need to have this ad running as often and as widely as possible so please support the effort. I just made my donation and unfortunately, it may not be enough to win but at least I’ll know I tried. Same goes for you; send what you can afford and please forward this plea to your email groups.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on October 31, 2008 at 12:04 AM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Sunday, 19 October 2008
 

An Alphabetical Guide To My Our Russ Vaughn Collection
Contributed by Bill Faith

Updated 2008.10.21

***

Note 2008.10.21: Due to some behind-the-scenes changes at TypePad, which I won't even attempt to react to till after the election, clicking the Russ Vaughn "category" link on the sidebar or at the bottom of an individual post only displays Russ's 50 most recent contributions to the site. This post is the only way currently available to access all of Russ's posts since the Old War Dogs site was created.

***

Before the Old War Dogs site existed I used to post everything Russ wrote at Small Town Veteran and maintain an alphabetical index of my collection. I let things slide a little while I was busy setting up OWD and it took me till now recently to get around to bringing my index up to date. Enjoy:


A Decades Deep Treasure Trove

A Flagging Campaign?

A Former Ranger Replies To "Good Enough to Die For"

A Mine, By Any Other Name…

A Nation’s Honor Flight

A New Willy

A Painful Lesson Learned

A request from Russ Vaughn

A Turkish Memory

A Useful Death

A**easing the A**easers

Adolph’s Apology

All the Way!

Allah Their Balls

An Obamanation

Another Kerry Purple Heart?

Asshat of the day: Steve Benson

Barry’s Flag Flap

Bastante!

Boneheads vs. Jarheads

But Can He Find Iran on a Map?

Campaign’s Over?

Chains We Can Believe In

Chicken John

Chronic Warrior Syndrome

Cluck, Cluck, Cluck…

Combating Inanity

Condoleezza eyes

Dancing on Your Crank

Debatable Polling

Debunking DeBord

Debutantes of Defeat

Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee… Dee, Dee, Dee, Dee…

Defensive Misgivings

Democrats and Community Disorganizing

Dogged DeLay

Doin’ the Dap

Donny Boy

Don’t Vote?

Down Mexico Way

Dumbass Brian Williams

Electile Dysfunction

Entertaining Considerations

Fairy Harry

Fasting Like They Fight

Fightin’ Side of Me

Fightin' Words

First Secretary of Celebrity

Flight 93 - the movie

Follow the Money, Dick

Food for Thought

Forever Green

Force Multipliers

Forsaken Honor, Forgotten Shame

Get Along Home, Cindy, Cindy

Get Me from the Church on Time

Going to the Dogs

Good Enough to Die For

Guess Who Missed the Bus?

Hallowed Human Shields

Handmaidens of Terror?

Happy 100th, Big John

He's Never Gonna Forget It!

Heroes

Hi Soldier

Higher Education

Homo Republicanus?

How many Liberals does it take to win a war?

I Don't Know War (Author unknown, with remarks by Russ Vaughn)

If— (you want to be a true jihadi)

Jihad Jane

Johnny

Just One Old Ernie Pyle

Kerry & MSM Continue To Contaminate History

Kerry’s Catch 22

Kerry’s Colors

Kerry's Other Salute

Kick-Ass Kerry

Liberal Experts

Liberals love America like O.J. loved Nicole.

Life as it should be, life as it is

Mad How Disease

Madame Savior of the Planet

Mainstream?

Malignant McClellanonoma

Matt Who?

Media Bias? No, By Us

Mi Casa es Su Casa

Mike Nifong’s Crime

Mine Eyes Have Seen…

More Laughable Left Wing Logic

Mr. Bush, Tear Down That Cross

Ms. Underestimated?

MSM in Freefall

My Salute

Naught’s Solved by War?

Nippin' at the New York Times

No Honor Among Sleaze?

No Mourning for Mainstream

Not Even a Contest

Not So Fast There, McCain!

Obama’s Swift Boat?

Obamanomics: Lesson One, The Solution to Inflation

Of Eagles and Chickens

Of Flags and Firefighters

Of Tigers and Puppies

Of Trains, Planes and Liberal Refrains

Old dogs, new tricks

Old Sarge Gets a Care Package

Ominous Obanomics

On Flag-Draped Coffins

Our David, Their Goliath

Out-Dumbed, by George!

Out-Dumbing the Dems (posted with "Out-Dumbed, by George!")

Paristine

Paternity Test? What Paternity Test?

Poisoned Penns

Poor Casey

Poor Lad

Pounding "Punk" into Pulp

Pressious Planning

Proud Thanks

Re: "From 1stCav via email (S. 3622)"

Re: "NCOs are GOD!"

Re-sinking John Kerry

Response to Dr. Gutman

Rough Men

Russ Vaughn comments on "We Were Soldiers ..."

Russ Vaughn, John Werntz:  Memories of Two Wars

Schlock Troops

Scout's Honor

Semper I

Send this Old Warhorse to the Barn

She’s Running Against…

Sheepdogs

Sheez!

Shoo, Hsu, Baby

Should the Press Cut and Run?

Show Your Gratitude

Slicing Enlightenment

So Tell Us, Barry, “Who Else Sent You?”

So you support the troops?

So You Say You Support The Troops? 2d Ed.

Speedy Al

Straight Talk

Strong? Then You’re Wrong!

Stunt?

Submission

Swift Justice

Take America Back?

Take Them There

Tap, Tap, Tap…

Teherani Johnni

Telling Symptoms

That’s The Way They Were Raised (posted with "Proud Thanks")

The Banana Brain Song

The Battered-Left Syndrome

The Berger briefs

The Clueless White Guy Vote

The Eagle and the Serpents

The Empress Has New Rolls

The Flight of the Gray Dog

The Fool and the Traitor

The Gang That Won’t Shoot Straight

The Hastert Protocol

The Involunteers

The Last Battle of Vietnam

The Loony Left Hemisphere

The New Geography

The Night Before Christmas (Cambodian Version)

The “No Right Answer” Game

The Nuanced Hero

The Obama Two-Step

The Question

The Quiet Americans

The Real Command Influence

The REAL Obama Birth Certificate

The Road Less Graveled

The Rookies

The Sore of Gore

The Star Spangled Banter (Zarqawi Version)

The Thought Police Are Here

The Truly Invisible

The Veteran In The Wall

The Whine of Haughty Elitism

The Words of Santayana

Their Veterans’ Day

They were right then, too, weren’t they?

Thin as a Reid

Those liberal geniuses

To Know Him is to Love Him

To Our Sheepdogs

Tony, We’re Proud We Knew Ye

Treasonous Media

Tyranny of the Brazen Few

Unconquered Men

Unsalutable

Veterans' Day

Vet's View

WaPo Weasels

We’re Oh So…

We’ve Established What He Is…

Weighing the Options

What’s Fair Is Fair?

What's in a Name?

When Barry Comes Flyin’ Home Again…

When the World Dials 911

While in Landstuhl the Wounded Still Lay…

Wild Irish Rose

Willful Suspension of…

Wisdom from Warriors

Why not take it a step further?

Why Was It My Son Had to Die?

"You Ain't Gonna Touch This Wall"

"You Ain't Gonna Touch This Wall" -- The MP3

Young Bulls, Old Bulls


Esoteric Diatribe has several of Russ's things from the days before I was on his mailing list. Click here to see the list.

Contributed by Bill Faith on October 19, 2008 at 12:41 AM in Bill Faith, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack


Friday, 03 October 2008
 

Our David, Their Goliath
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

There was no one killing stone, but the constant onslaught of small, targeted missiles had their deadly effect. Joe Biden, cool, slick, and calmed by thirty years of experience in the Senate, stood at his podium and delivered the Democrat party’s talking points with the smooth, polished delivery he has honed during that long tenure as a professional politician. Sarah Palin, a governor from the Alaskan bush, unpolished by Washington elitist terms, plain-spoken and homespun, kept launching those small, meaningful stones of common sense that finally began to make observable dents in that grand dome of Biden’s with all it’s enhancements of hair transplants, shining white, false teeth and a botox-ed smooth demeanor.

By the end, the wounds on Biden’s dermatologically corrected physiognomy were becoming obviously, wounding welts. Trying as he always does to be a man of the common people, Biden was clearly and simply out-commoned. Sarah Palin, not Joe Biden, came across as the candidate who connects with us out here in Middle America.

Where Biden made the standard Democrat pleas to class envy in his politically professional delivery, Sarah looked straight into that camera and made us believe that she, not Joe Biden, is one of us. Where Biden kept hammering away at the failures of the Bush administration, Sarah kept chiding him for his focus on the past and explaining to viewers that we should forget about the past and focus on the future.

Too bad that the debate had to end, because the young, inspired woman was clearly wearing down the old political hack. Biden should count his blessings that there was a ninety-minute limit. Another half hour and Biden would have been spouting the nonsense we have come to expect from him and Sarah would have been picking him to pieces, making him look like the old partisan hack he is.

The crowning moment for me was when Sarah baited the Old Pol into admitting that he would never change from what he is now, a professional politician, an embedded part of Washington’s professional political class. Before the entire world, Biden admitted he is stuck in the rut of congressional politics that has led this country to the economic disaster we now face. At that point, Biden should have taken out a pistol and fired a round solidly into his foot.

Sarah Palin, our small David, with her sling of common sense and her store of small stones formed from the core of America’s soul, left this Biden Goliath of the senate retreating from the field licking his wounds. My one regret is that she did not repeat the Biden primary statement that Obama is not ready to be Commander-in-Chief.

That point should have been hammered, ruthlessly. A large stone delivered forthrightly right into Biden’s artificially smooth forehead.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on October 3, 2008 at 05:17 PM in Clueless Joe, Politics, Russ Vaughn, Sarah Palin | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Saturday, 27 September 2008
 

Willful Suspension of…
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Let’s see if I have this straight: Obama just said in last night’s debate that Al Qaeda is in sixty countries, sixty countries, folks, count ‘em.

But, as he said earlier, not in Iraq. Think about that for a minute. Remember Hillary’s “Willful suspension of disbelief?” To disbelieve that the most hostile to America regime in the Middle East, that of Saddam Hussein and his murderous offspring, were lending no hand to those Al Qaeda terrorist elements that sought to destroy America requires more than a willful suspension of disbelief; it calls for that amazing anatomical ability to bend over and insert one’s head into the terminal point of the alimentary canal.

For Obama it can’t be a comfortable fit considering those ears.

How Democrats can continue to spout this ridiculous point that Al Qaeda had no connection to Iraq is beyond me, but there are Kool Aid drinkers out there who will readily regurgitate the point in the face of all common sense saying otherwise. Al Qaeda exists in every country surrounding Iraq but for some very strange reason, they were totally absent in Iraq until we provoked their intervention.

Hey, these are the same loons who believe the ice caps are melting and will submerge New York and San Francisco. Almost makes you wish they were right.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 27, 2008 at 07:32 AM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Friday, 26 September 2008
 

Stunt?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

John McCain, recognizing the serious economic threat facing this country, suspends his campaign and returns to Washington to fulfill his role as a senior United States Senator and standard bearer of his party.

Barack Obama and the liberal media are calling that a stunt.

To those in Washington trying to find a solution to this unprecedented financial crisis, Barry essentially says he’s going to continue his campaign. Oh, and they know where to reach him if absolutely necessary. Call me, I’ll be there.

Were I John McCain’s campaign manager I’d have an ad out there tomorrow comparing McCain’s responsible action in going to Washington in a time of national need to Obama’s media ballyhooed and meaningless trip to Berlin to pump his faltering image.

Now that’s a stunt.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 26, 2008 at 02:02 PM in Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Thursday, 25 September 2008
 

Campaign’s Over?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Did anyone else happen to find it strange that Bill Clinton twice Tuesday night in his interview with Greta Van Susteren made reference to the campaign being over?

VAN SUSTEREN: How much time are you spending on the road doing this? I mean, how -- how much of your attention?

CLINTON: Well, now that the campaign is over, I do as near to full- time as I can. I want -- I'm working toward the day when I'll be completely dividing my time between the Clinton Global Initiative and the activities of my own foundation.

You know, we have a big AIDS project, a big childhood obesity project in America, a huge global warming project in 40 cities on six continents, and a major economic development project in countries that have mining, where we're trying to redo the economy and make them sustainable, and lots of other things.

And the third thing I have is the School of Public Service around my library at the university in Arkansas. And I'm moving as quick as I can to be full-time on all of that.

And I'm -- I will never again, I don't think, be as involved in any kind of political activity as I was when Hillary was running. And ever since the campaign is over, I have moved aggressively to get back in, get ready for CGI, and get my other foundation stuff going.

Was that an incautious mental slip indicating that in the Clintons’ minds this campaign is indeed over, or was Bill signaling the Obama folks that if they want the Clintons’ support they better think about dumping Jivin’ Joe? Certainly does have to make one wonder just how concerned the Clintons are about getting Obama elected.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 25, 2008 at 03:22 PM in Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Monday, 15 September 2008
 

Ominous Obanomics
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

He’s already told us he’s going to raise our taxes, but Barack Obama tries to make that a more palatable pill by reassuring us that he’s only going to raise taxes on the rich. To a working stiff like I’ve been all my life that is supposed be appealing: yeah, stick it to all those rich ba**ards and let them feel the pain for a while. Sounds good, hmmm? Except that my life experiences have taught me that the rich ba**ards have long ago devised diverse ways of passing that pain on to others. And if tax extractors like Obama should prove to be so relentless in exerting pain on the powerful that it cannot all be passed along, guess what, Bubba? Those rich ba**ards are going to close down operations, eliminate your job and move somewhere to a more amiable business climate.

Two Wall Street Journal pieces today prove out this obvious truth. The first, discussing the huge state budget deficits in California and New York, makes this observation:

    “If taxes don't matter, then maybe someone can explain the divergent economic paths of California and New York and America's two other most populous states, Florida and Texas. The latter two states have no personal income tax. Personal income has been growing about 50% faster in Florida and Texas than in California and New York. (See chart.) This year Texas became the No. 1 state for Fortune 500 corporate headquarters. About a dozen of those 58 corporations once called New York or California home, and taxes are one reason they departed.”

The second article, aptly entitled, “If You Like Michigan’s Economy, You’ll love Obama’s,” substantiates the findings in the first and shows that right to work states, like Texas, Florida and Arizona, where state government has not been corrupted by the undue influence of powerful unions, have vigorous population growth and vibrant economies. Their northern counterparts like Michigan, Illinois (anyone from there come to mind?) and Ohio are in much worse shape, some of which could possibly be explained by such  union created foolishness as auto workers being paid $65,000 per year, with excellent benefits for doing nothing as described in this Detroit News article of a few years back. That’s right, Bubba, zilch, nada, not one damned thing but showing up. Think that might account for those northern states losing 83,000 jobs in the auto industry while 91,000 jobs in that same industry were created in Alabama, Tennessee, Kentucky, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia and Texas, all states where unions and high-taxing liberals haven’t subverted the government process? Oh, and Red States, by the way.

Both articles should be required reading for all Americans still unsure as to whom they want for president for the next four years for one very simple but profound reason: the jobs and the companies in these articles were able to relocate to other states where the business atmosphere is more realistic and reasonable. If an Obama administration should extend the economic policies that have failed liberal dominated Blue States to the entire country, just where do you suppose all those job creating rich ba**ards will head next?

Can you spell offshore, Bubba?

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 15, 2008 at 01:14 PM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack


Friday, 12 September 2008
 

But Can He Find Iran on a Map? (Bumped)
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

[Bupded by the webmaster. Originally posted 2008.06.26]

In a CQ Politics column, David Korn snidely asks, “Can a Guy (McCain) Who Doesn’t Know How To Use a Computer Become President?”

Reading the column my first thought was, “Can A Harvard Educated Lawyer Who Doesn’t Know Elementary School Level Geography Become President?” My second was, “Can A Harvard Educated Lawyer Who Doesn’t Know How Many States Are In The Country He Wants To Govern Become President?”

Considering their candidate’s demonstrated disregard for the finer points of geography and history, the Democrats and their media minions might want to think twice before poking fun at McCain for lack of knowledge. Personally I find it far less disturbing that McCain, in his seventies, has little knowledge of computers than the fact that a supposed young genius in his forties is so evidently ignorant of basic geography. I will wager that a lot of other senior voters share my feeling that a president can perform his duties quite well without computer skills. It’s like asking, “But can he type?”

Of more concern to folks like us is, “But can he find Iran on a map?”

My personal experience with the Internet has taught me that this medium, especially on the liberal side, is heavily populated with technical whizzes who are long on computer skills but very short on judgment. Shallow, in other words.

And guess who their candidate is…

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 12, 2008 at 03:16 PM in Obamanation, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

He's Never Gonna Forget It!
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Shortly after losing the presidential election in 2008, Barack Obama, strained by the demands of his long campaign, has a heart attack and wakes up in that section of Hell reserved for politicians and celebrity types.

The Devil looks at him and says, “Hmmm, I don't know what to do here; you’re definitely on my list but you’re way too early and I don’t have a room for you yet. But you have to stay, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as dishonest or dishonorable as you. I'm gonna let one of them go, but you have to take their place. Tell you what, you can even decide who leaves.”

Barack thinks that sounds pretty good, so the Devil opens the door to the first room, The Chappaquiddick Suite.

In it is a waterlogged, skin-shriveled, Ted Kennedy in a large pool of water. Ted keeps diving in, then surfacing empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dives into the pool and surfaces with nothing. Such is his fate in Hell.

“No,” Barack says, “I don't think so. You know the brothers aren't good swimmers and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil then leads him to the door of the next room, The Global Warming Suite, where they find a naked, shivering, goose-bumped Al Gore sitting on a large block of ice in a freezing room with a blizzard of snow blowing from the ceiling.

Barack immediately says, “No way, man, you see how skinny I am? I can’t handle that kind of cold.”

The Devil then opens a third door with a sign on it, The Oval Office. Barack says, “Yeah, man, now you’re talking!”  Inside he sees Bill Clinton sitting behind a huge desk, his head lolling back, eyes closed and a happy smile on his face. Stepping further into the room, Obama is able to see Monica Lewinsky on her knees performing her usual on Bill.

The Devil looks at Obama, lifts an eyebrow and says, “Well?”

Obama grins, does a fist tap with the Devil and says, “Oh yeah, man, I can dig this!”

The Devil nods agreement, takes a tube of lipstick from his pocket and hands it to Barack as he barks, “OK, Lewinsky, you’re outta here!”

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 12, 2008 at 12:37 AM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack


Thursday, 11 September 2008
 

Matt Who?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Hey Matt Damon, congratulations, genius, you just made my do-not-watch list with your dumb denunciation of Sarah Palin. It's taken you a little longer than most of your dim-bulb colleagues, but let me tell you, Matty, you are there now, Bubba, you have arrived, and guess what boy? It's a lifetime achievement; once there Matty, you are on that list forever. Even crawling into the Vice-President's residence and giving Sarah a sole-licking pedicure couldn't get your smug Hollywood butt off my list, ever.

You got that, Matt?

See, Matt, I'm pretty lenient with you Hollywood dips and tend to give you a lot of leeway because I understand that you're really not a bunch of Will Huntings. Nope, you're just a pack of photogenic dopes who can stand in front of a camera and recite memorized lines. Yeah, yeah, Matt, I've heard all about your vaunted Ivy League academic achievements and I think they are just more Hollywood hype dreamed up by some little weasel who's taking a bigger percentage of your income than a truly smart man would willingly pay?

Something I just can't figure, Matt, about you and the industry you are part of. I spent my whole life in marketing and I just can't get my business brain around an entire industry that insists on pissing off more than half its potential customer base as a matter of routine. You Hollywood flakes base all your success on box office sales, yet you consistently come into my home via my TV set, my computer and newspapers and personally insult my intelligence by snidely telling me I'm some sort of political Neanderthal because I don't want to vote for your communist candidates. And in the process, you are relentlessly driving me, and the millions like me, away from local theaters, putting yourself on my never go see again and never order list from Netflix.

Really great deep thinking there, Ivy League Genius.

Your career success depends on box office receipts, especially from the opening weekend, but you take it upon yourself to spit in my face about my political beliefs and guarantee that no one from my family ever will be sitting in the seats watching your latest insipid performance on opening weekend. Yeah, boy, that is marketing genius, Matt. Just by keeping your mouth shut you could double your box office but no, you just insist on insulting me and mine. Brilliant! Just freakin' brilliant, you Ivy League genius!

Wonder why your industry is going down the tubes just slightly less precipitously than the New York Times, Matt? Perhaps it's because you, the entertainment industry, are mildly amusing and still hold some appeal for children. But little Pinch and his dying Grey Lady aren't read by too many children, Matt. Hell, they're not read by all that many adults anymore. Hey Matty boy, you're a big union supporter aren't you, like all Hollywood limousine liberals? So, do you have any harsh words for little Penny-Pinch putting over 400 union workers on the street this week? Nah, I didn't think so, because you need one of Pinch's snotty little tight-pants reviewers to make your latest piece of America-bashing trash sound good to the gullible, don't you?

Keep it up, Matt, you and all the ostriches in Hollywood, the newspaper industry and the network broadcasting industry. You fools just keep right on alienating more than half your potential market and we'll see where you end up. You and others like you are so out of touch with the America that made you that your cavalier dismissal of the beliefs and feelings of that very same America will someday see you as nothing more than Matt who?

Wanna guess how long it's been since I bought a theater ticket, Genius? And if it weren't for John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, James Stewart and their like, I'd cancel Netflix too. It's true I am about to break my long-standing boycott of Hollywood trash as I intend to go see An American Carol as soon as it's available.

So, what do you think about that, Matt who?

***

See also [BF]: Matt Damon, Genius. The Website that Created The "Sarah Palin Quotes" Even Identified Them as Parodies That Had Been Made Up

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 11, 2008 at 03:01 PM in Dem Dumbness, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack


Wednesday, 10 September 2008
 

Ms. Underestimated?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Snidely Whiplashes, whiskers a twirl,
Villainous mobs of media hacks,
Frantically seek to tie down our girl,
To their snobby elite railroad tracks;
But to her rescue blog heroes flock,
Dudley Do-Rights undoing her knots,
While Sarah faces the down-ticking clock,
Unfazed by the fools? snidely plots.?

Just when the hacks think that they've won,
And have her tied flat on her back,
Dudley Do-Rights derail their foul fun,
And tie the twits themselves to the track.
Liberal media fools never learn,
Their failures leaving them frustrated,
Liberal liars foiled at each turn,
Outwitted by Ms. Underestimated.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 10, 2008 at 02:24 PM in Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn, Sarah Palin | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Monday, 08 September 2008
 

The Loony Left Hemisphere
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

James Lewis in his September 6th posting, ‘The End of Boomer Weirdness,” sent me scrambling to Wikipedia to find the meaning of the term hebephrenic. What I found there led me to this:

    A form of schizophrenia in which affective changes are prominent, delusions and hallucinations fleeting and fragmentary, behavior irresponsible and unpredictable, and mannerisms common. The mood is shallow and inappropriate and often accompanied by giggling or self-satisfied, self-absorbed smiling, or by a lofty manner, grimaces, mannerisms, pranks, hypochondriacal complaints, and reiterated phrases.

Upon reading that, the first light bulb that popped on was, Alan Colmes! followed closely by, Ellis Henican and Bob Beckel!” But then with further reflection, I realized that many, if not all, of these diagnostic terms could be applied fairly to far too many of the liberal spokespersons we see on television, in particular the references to self-satisfied, self-absorbed smiling, or by a lofty manner, grimaces. Just think of all the smug, smarter-than-thou, liberal talking heads those words describe: Olbermann, Matthews, those View broads, all through the major networks, ad infinitum. And consider how the self-satisfied smile usually comes at the end of a successful rattling off of a string of memorized DNC talking points. The lofty manner and grimaces accompany the rebuttals from their conservative counterparts.

Think about what you’ve been watching for the last few years and tell me I’m wrong.

Now he’s not one of my favorite talk show hosts because of his bombastic style but, to his credit, Michael Savage has been saying for several years that Liberalism is a mental disorder. I believe I’m beginning to agree with him. Suddenly, expressions like Loons on the Left and Kool Aid Drinkers are beginning to take on new meaning. Lewis, in his AT article cites Polish scientist and author, Count Alfred Korzybski who coined the term unsanity to describe this sort of collective, unhinged behavior by entire segments of society. By the Count’s accounting, they may not be certifiably, committably insane but they are definitely operating with far too many screws loose. That’s not the Count’s medical terminology, by the way, but mine.

When I talk to family members and friends who are readily sucking up Obama’s version of Jim Jones’ purple, Flavor-Aid cocktails, I am aware that no amount of reasoning is going to sway them from their feelings that Obama is The One. What does provide a ray of hope and sanity is that those truly unsane are still in the minority and suddenly an antidote has arrived for those only minimally afflicted: Sarah Palin.

The Glamorous Gov, possesses an oft-noted, naughty librarian look that conceals an iron-willed political competence that when they get glimpses of it in her public pronouncements is turning the unsane on the left totally insane. Just when Us magazine, with their frothing denunciation of McCain’s butt-kickin’ BatGirl thinks they have her teetering on the edge of the topmost floor of the New York Times Building, they look down and its their own toes they see tottering feebly on the edge of the abyss. Holy Palony, Pinch!!! What mystical powers are we up against???

And Pinchy Boy’s New York Times, which is the institutional exemplification of full-blown, beyond treatable hebephrenia, has deployed a battalion (or is it a brigade? Libs have problems with math and military terms, you know) of investigative reporters to the Far North to dig up dirt on the Gov which could explain their lack of manpower to send any investigative reporters to Chicago to conduct any sort of professional journalistic probe of the nefarious Daly Machine which has seemingly produced a presidential candidate out of thin air with an even thinner résumé. All of which leaves me to ponder:

Has the whole damned world gone crazy? Nope, just the freakin’ Left Hemisphere.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 8, 2008 at 02:04 AM in Dem Dumbness, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Saturday, 06 September 2008
 

Barry’s Flag Flap
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

The flag flap that is unfurling on FOX News right now is developing quickly into a huge embarrassment to the Obama campaign. The callous, disrespectful disposal of some 12,000 handheld American flags left behind at Invesco Field following the Barackopolis  speech is being skillfully manipulated by the McCain campaign which rescued them before they could be dumped at a landfill and is now in the process of redistributing them to attendees at a McCain/Palin rally in Colorado Springs.

There are federal rules for the disposal of flags, rules which do not include hauling 12,000 of them off to a landfill in plastic garbage bags. But then, isn’t that just so Liberal, waving thousands of flags for the network cameras then tossing them as soon as the lights go down?

One thing to be alert for here is how Barack Obama will respond to this colossal blunder. If history is any guide, Obama will try to divert responsibility to his staff, but then wasn’t it Barry who just this week has been reminding the world that he is the executive responsible for running his giant campaign organization?

See also (BF):

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 6, 2008 at 03:05 PM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Democrats and Community Disorganizing
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

In response to Rudy Giuliani’s and Sarah Palin’s convention jibes at The O’s experiences as a community organizer, the Obama campaign is issuing statements of outrage, reminding us all that a Jesus-like Barack Obama was ministering to South Chicago residents whose lives had been devastated by the recent closing of nearby steel mills which had been the economic engine driving that community.

All that may be true; well, except for the Jesus-like characterization, but then they just can’t seem to help themselves, can they? But what the O’s minions are failing to take into consideration is that much of the economic hardship brought upon his unfortunate constituents was the consequence of actions by two other major Democrat Party constituencies, Big Labor and environmentalists, both over-empowered by an over-regulating federal government.

Yes, culpable steel industry executives were too slow to recognize the new foreign competition that was developing and adapt accordingly, but it was the greedy unions, the hyper-vigilant EPA and the U.S. Labor Department’s newly released pit bull, OSHA, hungry for regulatory red meat, which made the needed adaptation impossible to attain.

Too-high wages with too-cushy benefits, too-extreme environmental demands and harassing over-regulation by big government drove the steel industry from America and straight into the hands of growing Asian economies, leaving those unfortunates in South Chicago to wonder just what the hell had happened to their high-paying jobs and the rosy retirements their union-backed, Democratic political machine had promised them.

Under an Obama administration, a similar fate awaits larger segments of America, fired by the same union-driven, high wage, protectionist policies and environmental extremism of those earlier times. Democrats, socialists, Marxists and union leaders (yes I know those terms are redundant) never seem to grasp the truth of hoary aphorisms such as, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” or “Don’t kill the golden goose,” and “Don’t foul your own nest,” the last of which we small-towners, clinging to God and guns, might express a bit more pithily as, “Don’t crap where you eat.”

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 6, 2008 at 12:04 AM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack


Friday, 05 September 2008
 

Chains We Can Believe In
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Okommissars dour crave total power,
An iron hand to rule this nation,
Not to debate but incarcerate
Those guilty of deviation.
You’ll have no role in thought control,
No matter whom you do know.
They’ll ship your butt to an icy hut,
In a camp far north of Juneau. 

We heard it well from stern Michelle,
What The Great One will require:
Without reserve we will all serve,
Or face the Okommissars’ ire.
You will submit, you’ll take the bit;
The Okommissariat guides your brains.
You’ll volunteer, by force or fear;
You will accept these chains.

We hear Dem czars, the Okommissars,
Are planning state prosecutions;
For all of those, they now oppose,
They’re preparing stern solutions.
Vice-Okommissar Joe has said it’s so
There‘ll be charges for those leavin’;
So those ending reigns will go in chains
Those are chains you can believe in.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 5, 2008 at 12:48 PM in Obamanation, Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Tuesday, 02 September 2008
 

She’s Running Against…
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

She’s running against old Scranton Joe,
Whose blue-collar pedigree we all know,
Because mainstream media says it’s true,
Though facts don’t quite support that view.
Joe says himself he’s middle class,
But the MSM considers that crass;
Middle Class? That’s so demeaning,
Got to be blue collar, leftist leaning.

She’s running against a rock-hard bias,
Of Mainstream Media, oh so pious,
Who ignored John Edwards secret screwing,
But pounce upon a teen’s wrongdoing.
A double standard? Oh you bet,
But folks you ain’t seen nothing yet;
These vultures we know will not pause,
To destroy this girl for their liberal cause.

She’s running against a dubious deal,
Dealt by our media so surreal,
The one’s should keep us all informed,
So twisted now, by hate malformed.
No longer do we get the news,
But extreme opinions, liberal views.
With hateful words, a teen they’ve trussed,
While Edward’s sins are undiscussed.

She’s running against the New York Times,
Godmother of journalistic crimes.
She’s conservative, so she doesn’t fit?
Be ready for their murderous hit.
If they don’t get her, she’s still toast,
For a backstab hit by the Washington Post;
And if they can’t kill her with their slimes,
There’s the West Coast hitters, the L.A. Times.

She’s running against some heavy odds, some think she’s not up to it,
I think she’s favored by the gods, and the libs are about to screw it.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 2, 2008 at 01:28 PM in Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn, Sarah Palin | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Thursday, 28 August 2008
 

Take America Back?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

I don’t know about you but when I hear Barack Obama stand in front of the a mass of adoring Kool Aid drinkers at the Democratic convention and say, “We’re going to take America back,” hairs stand up on my neck. Take America Back? Just who the hell from?

The verbal construct take back requires a reciprocal action, the necessity that someone else must give up their America. Since I am diametrically opposed to Obama’s extreme socialist views, I assume that one of those someone’s who is going to be required to give back America is me.

Nope, ain’t gonna happen. I’m not in a giving mood, Barry, so you better think long and hard, boy, about what it’s going to require to take it away from me.

I happen to very much like the America in which I live. With all its faults, this country is hands down the best place in the world to live as evidenced by all the folks from other countries busting their asses to get in here. We may export jobs but we sure as hell don’t export people. There’s gotta be a reason for that, Barry. Every speech you make you poormouth the USA but there’s not another country in the world that people are trying so hard to get into.

Sure, we have our periodic downturns economically but they’re always followed by upturns that keep us on track as the economic envy of the world. And, true, we do find ourselves in the position of having to defend our primacy in the world by periodically demonstrating through our military prowess that we’re not gonna take any crap from two-bit, tinhorn despots ranging from Arab pissants to Russian blowhards.

All I hear from you Democrats is how terrible our economy is and yet when I look at my own life which began dirt poor, I am content with the blessings my America has bestowed on me and my loved ones. We are far from well to do, but we are comfortable, warm, sheltered and able to eat and drink what we please. We’re a damned sight better off than your brother in Nairobi. Bet he’d be real happy to move into a spare bedroom in that big ol’ house of yours, don’t you, Barry?

Sure, I see poor people and I feel for them; but you know what that makes me think, Barry? They should be doing the things my wife and I did not to stay poor. Get an education, work hard and don’t blow your money on luxury automobiles and homes you can’t afford to maintain. Live within your means and work hard to increase those means. Save for your future.

But, no, Barack, you want to take back the America in which I am comfortable and give it to those who don’t want to work their way through college as I did, without taking out federally-guaranteed student loans to haunt me for years. You want to take back my America and hand it over to the tattooed, pierced losers who would rather waste their youth on things that make them feel good, and squander the most productive years of their lives seeking that ever illusive sense of fulfillment you Hollywood inspired liberals place so prominently above the sense of responsibility.

I’ll tell you right now and in no uncertain terms, Barack Obama, you want to take back my America? You and your pixie-dusted followers better be a helluva lot tougher than what you’ve shown me so far.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 28, 2008 at 02:33 PM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack


Thursday, 21 August 2008
 

Obama’s Swift Boat?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

A week ago an old Marine buddy sent me a link to a You tube video that after viewing it, caused me to sit momentarily stunned by the horror of what I had just seen and heard. The video was that of nurse, Jill Stanek, who had in a completely straightforward and highly effective manner related how she had cradled a dying infant that had been dumped in the dirty laundry room of the Chicago hospital where she worked, following an abortion procedure the unfortunate baby had just survived.

Stanek’s wrenching account of how that baby had fought for forty-five minutes to live but finally died in her arms, is one of those rare experiences that reaches into you and grabs you like a heart attack. If you have not seen it by now, go here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIdbYjmbFzo

If you come away from that video with less than a heavy heart, I don’t think you’d be someone I’d care to number among my friends. Do not, however, think that I am some kind of hard core, under any and all circumstances pro-life conservative because I’m not. However, I am adamantly opposed to the cold, heartless infanticide depicted in this video and I am totally opposed to any politician who would permit it to be public policy as Barack Obama apparently did while serving in the Illinois Senate.

While watching Sean Hannity interview Ms. Stanek, it suddenly occurred to me, Jill Stanek could very well be Obama’s Swift Boat Veteran. Her recounting of how Obama coldly disregarded her heartfelt testimony regarding the issue of these induced labor abortions and the horrifying consequences which she had personally experienced as a result, gives us a glimpse into the heart of this so-called Messiah that is nothing less than chilling. I believe every American who views that video can’t help but come away from it with questions about whether or not this is the kind of man we want as the leader of our nation.

But then, we must realize, he was merely a state senator and not a presidential candidate so decisions about leaving live infants alone in a hospital’s cold, dirty laundry room to helplessly die without any human warmth, love or contact were obviously above Mr. Obama’s pay grade.

Last week at Saddleback, he reminded us they still are.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 21, 2008 at 03:42 PM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack


Sunday, 17 August 2008
 

The Clueless White Guy Vote
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Contrary to their politically correct aims, the advertising industry in this country has created a voting bloc that I am positively sure they never intended. I refer to all us Clueless White Guys, that resentful constituency that for years has endured a constant onslaught of television commercials in which the white male is always the bumbling buffoon, while minority males, black, Asian and Hispanic are always the cool, in-tune, in-the-know dudes who always, effortlessly get it, whatever it may be.

Variations include the Clueless White Guy being totally oblivious to the obvious worth or value of whatever is being sold in the commercial while his wife or some other female, usually a racial minority, demonstrates with over-done grimaces or knowing smiles just what a total and complete dumbass the white guy is.

I have no children so I’ve never had to suffer the indignity of spending an evening watching television with my kids where at least every fifteen minutes or so that demographic which I represent is subjected to ridicule by the corporate sponsors of the programs I’m watching. Still, I have to wonder, don’t those fools realize the influence fathers have on the buying decisions made by their families? Don’t any of the corporate wunderkind ever question the wisdom, or lack thereof, of insulting that demographic which controls the buying decisions, especially of big-ticket items, in a majority of American households, especially the most affluent ones?

And yes, I know, it’s just all in good fun and to take offense is being silly and hypersensitive, or at least that’s what all these advertising whizzes would be quick to tell us were we ever to mount an organized protest. And I would agree if such commercials were merely sometime things and if black, Hispanic and Asian husbands and fathers were depicted occasionally as hapless losers, just like their white counterparts; but that’s not the case.

In fact, this phenomenon has become so widespread that even my wife now sits and shakes her head ruefully when we see it played out again and again. And that brings up another issue, the ancillary effect of such advertising where it has become so prevalent that now the offense extends to those family members who happen to love their white fathers and husbands and are fed up with seeing them constantly portrayed as maladroit dopes.   

So all you smug, elitist, politically correct liberals in the business of making these commercials should give some thought to the inestimable backlash voting bloc that you have cluelessly created out here with your steady drumbeat of ridicule of white males. Take just a moment to wonder as to just how many clueless white males, their wives and their adult children are going to go into the voting booth in November and express their frustration with your constant condescension by the only means available to them:

Their vote for the only white male in the race, the one the media loves to portray as clueless.

And it’s not because they are racists that these folks will vote this way; to the contrary, many white Americans who might have voted for a first black president will not do so precisely due to their heretofore, unexpressed resentment of your unceasing, smug portrayals and precisely to prove you wrong. In fact, I’m wondering how many white males may go into the booth intending to vote for Obama and at the last minute remember a particularly insulting commercial and think, “Well, screw them!”

This reaction may be comparable to the reasoning we hear from the liberal media who claim that the 93% of blacks reporting their support for The One are not racists. We hear that this is a completely understandable skewing, given the history of oppression endured by that demographic and their need to find a champion to advance the healing process. Please don’t think I’m trying to equate the malignance of slavery and Jim Crow with this current campaign of ridiculing of white males, which does indeed pale in comparison. But before you accuse us of whining, consider this: if we are whiners, why have you not heard more complaints, earlier and louder from this caricatured cohort? We have endured the indignities with graceful (dare I say manly) silence and only now have I raised the issue in the context of how it relates to the coming election.

If you creators of these commercials think you are cleverly and harmlessly assuaging the resentment of minorities by constantly and very publicly maligning white males, you are badly mistaken. You are only transferring resentment from one group to another and in doing so may be creating a backlash vote not against the first black presidential candidate for his race but rather a protest vote against yourselves, the too politically correct media industry that slavishly supports him. On a broader scale, the overt bias in the news media for any Democrat candidate may be creating a similar backlash vote and for similar reasons, but that’s a topic for another article.

All of this, your mocking of white males and your idolizing of The One, will result in yet one more demonstration of that fatal flaw in too many liberal minds, the inability to foresee the unintended negative consequences of your supposedly good intentions: the clueless white guy vote.

We’ll just have to wait until November to see if I’m right.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 17, 2008 at 12:19 AM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack


Thursday, 14 August 2008
 

First Secretary of Celebrity
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Hey there’s little Georgie boy,
Barack’s new pretty campaign toy.
Sure they’re nuts, a little loony,
Gotta be to pick George Clooney,
As counselor of foreign affairs;
Forget this flick, folks, find the stairs.
Liaisons, sure he’s expert on;
Except for that what’s Georgie done?
To Libs a celebrity knows it all,
Can tell Obama the shots to call.
With all his Hollywood expertise,
George can seduce and stoop to please.
To George and Barry our world’s their toy,
Exists for naught but selfish joy.
So Georgie boy will surely be
First Secretary of Celebrity.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 14, 2008 at 12:12 AM in Obamanation, Poetry, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Saturday, 09 August 2008
 

Paternity Test? What Paternity Test?
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

John Edwards may be a fool for love but he’s no fool as a lawyer. Faced with the ongoing disclosures by the National Enquirer of his long-standing affair with campaign worker, Rielle Hunter, and the imminent threat that Enquirer was about to publish substantiating photographs of his two-week ago rendezvous with his paramour and their love child, he did what any clever trial lawyer would do, he did a modified, limited hangout, admitting as little as possible to buy himself some time to rebuild his defense.

Yeah, yeah, OK, so there was some hanky-panky back in 2006 but that’s all ancient history. So what? Let’s just put all that behind us and move forward here, know what I mean? Like any good courtroom performer Edwards trotted out a verbal timetable in his media mea culpa to demonstrate that if the affair ended when he said it did back in 2006 (which the luxuriously stashed and cared for Ms. Hunter is sure to verify) then that little bundle of joy could not possibly be the result of any carnal couplings between these two carefree kids. Heck, they just had a brief, inconsequential, campaign fling and went their separate ways.

And just to make sure we believe him, John threw it right out there on the table that he’s more than willing to take a paternity test to prove he’s not the father. Now I must admit to a bit of consternation upon hearing that, wondering what kind of lawyer trick this was. Then my lovely bride of forty years, who was also a certified legal assistant in the employ of numerous trial lawyers for thirty years, pointed out the obvious: you need a complainant to make John’s bold proffer meaningful in any way.

She went on to explain, as that little light bulb was going on over my head, that Edwards could take all the paternity tests in the world but if there is no matching test obtained from the child in question, there would be nothing to match it to. And then I began to understand why this guy was able to bilk corporations out of tens of millions in bogus claims. If there is no complainant, meaning Ms. Hunter, seeking to establish legal paternity, then wherefrom will come the genetic materials to be used in the testing/matching process?

There is no father listed on the birth certificate so that makes Ms. Hunter the sole legal representative of the baby, and the only person who can submit that child for genetic testing to obtain a possible matching sample. And is Ms. Hunter likely to do that when she considers the possibility that she may someday be Mrs. Edwards, wife of one of the wealthiest trial attorneys in America? And there are news reports that she has indeed alluded to such a future with Mr. Silky Pony when he is no longer matrimonially encumbered.

Now I suppose there might be provisions under California law that would permit involuntary testing in a paternity suit if there were compelling public interests at stake but we have neither a complainant nor a compelling public interest here. What we do have, in my opinion, is a very slick demonstration of lawyering skills being applied by a man so unslick as to allow himself to be cornered in a public restroom by a bunch of reporters and photographers at the scene of the slime.

What a helluva man you are John! But, you know, as I think about it, we might be better off having a courtroom whiz like you dealing with the likes of Achmadinejad than some academic legal lightweight like B.O.

Ah well…

Editor's note: Please note that Russ wrote this well before Rielle Hunter announced that she wasn't willing to participate in paternity testing.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 9, 2008 at 11:41 AM in Dem Dumbness, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Thursday, 07 August 2008
 

MSM in Freefall
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Take a look at the financial performance of the three biggest (in terms of sales) American newspaper companies here, and note that their precipitous decline began after their performance peaked in the spring of 2004. Isn’t that, quite coincidentally of course, about the time the mainstream media decided to end the farce of pretending to be objective in their reporting and went totally in the tank for the Democrats and John Kerry? Was that slippery slope perhaps made more so by the way the drive-by’s dismissively dissed a grass-roots organization of true American war heroes, the Swiftboat Veterans for Truth, as they frantically tried to bail Kerry’s sinking scow? 

This abysmal business stewardship comes from the hands of liberal elitists who are absolutely certain they are privy to truths unknowable to those of us comprising the loutish masses, clinging to our God, our guns and still eating iceberg lettuce rather than arugula, for crying out loud.

How bourgeois (how’s that for some Frenchy talk, Obama?) of us to notice that these brilliant elites may have just misunderestimated something about those who buy their products?

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 7, 2008 at 06:41 PM in Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Friday, 01 August 2008
 

Obamanomics: Lesson One, The Solution to Inflation
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

A well researched and thoughtful approach to solving the problem of high gas prices, postulated below by the future savior of mankind.

You think I don’t know about economics?
You fools thinkin’ all I read is comics?
You sayin’ I don’t know ‘bout inflation?
Hell, I know how to save this nation.
America don’t need to do no more drillin’;
You fools just need to do more fillin’.
Ya’ll quit believin’ these drill-now liars;
Git your ass out the car an’ check your tires.

Barry

My views on this issue will be presented in more detail following the inauguration. Any questions may be addressed to my newly appointed Extortionist General, Al Sharpton.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 1, 2008 at 02:49 PM in Obamanation, Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Madame Savior of the Planet
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

I’ll suffer no challenge from any Republican fool,
For I’m Madam Speaker with divine right to rule.
It was by liberal colleagues that I was appointed;
But it was by God, Himself, that I was anointed.
So scoff all you want at my frozen-faced smile,
And eyes that your headlights pick up for a mile;
With scalpel and botox I’ve made myself fair,
But the hormones do create some coarse facial hair.

But hormones allow me to rule every day;
I’ve grown a pair bigger than “Hammer” DeLay.
Don’t screw with me Boehner you Republican putz,
Or I’ll pull a “Jesse” and whack off your nuts.
As the first woman who has this much power,
I’ve learned how delicious it is to devour
Congressional wimps with their phony respect,
While all of their bills I’ve purely shipwrecked.

Take the business of drilling for American oil;
These fools want to pollute our American soil.
I’ll tell you right now what their foolish goals are,
To coat California beaches with tar;
But they’re dead in the water with un-green behavior;
For I’m Madame Speaker, the world’s surest savior.
My resolve is as strong as if chiseled in granite;
I am Nancy Pelosi, and I’m saving this planet.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 1, 2008 at 10:36 AM in Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The REAL Obama Birth Certificate
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Good news! Document certification specialists at that renowned think tank for progressive thought, The Peoples Cube, have finally uncovered the true, authenticated birth document of Barack Obama. You can find it here: http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=2149

For any of you smug, conservative skeptics who may be thinking of disproving this final version of the candidate’s birth certificate, be forewarned that it has already been verified and certified by the Rather-Mapes Institute of Document Authentication in Poteet, TX.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 1, 2008 at 12:19 AM in Obamanation, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack


Wednesday, 30 July 2008
 

While in Landstuhl the Wounded Still Lay…
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

As a vet I know how these visits go;
They are contrived for the politicians,
Who posture, pose for network shows,
In controlled choreographed conditions.
Obama wants troops in his video loops,
To serve as his backdrop to glory;
But if the Army says no to a video show,
Then our wounded are no longer a story.

Once having been there I can certainly share
The excitement and anticipation;
Awaking to hear someone famous is near,
Come to pay the respects of the nation.
But then comes the word, infrequently heard,
The celebrity won’t visit today;
Too bad for the troops, he’s gone shooting hoops,
While in Landstuhl the wounded still lay.

Russ Vaughn
Vietnam 65-66

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on July 30, 2008 at 01:13 PM in Obamanation, Poetry, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack


Sunday, 27 July 2008
 

When Barry Comes Flyin’ Home Again…
Contributed by Russ Vaughn

Best appreciated when humming the tune of the popular Civil War song, “When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again,” or the Irish folk classic, “Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye.” Also, with sincere apologies to my Hibernian forbears whose folk lyrics and music I keep misusing for political purposes. Somehow, however, I think their Irish eyes are smiling.

When Barry was comin’ to see the troops, hooah, hooah;
The brass they made us jump through hoops, hooah, hooah.
With sand in our boots in sweat in the eye,
We stood in the sun ‘til we liked to die,
But it all was for naught, cause, “Barry we never saw ye.”

He met all the generals sure as life, hooah, hooah;
He picked their brains about the strife, hooah, hooah.
But a private soldier he never met,
He's comin' home an' he still ain’t yet,
But all we can say is, “Barry we never saw ye.”

Our wounded off to Landstuhl go, hooah, hooah;
To stabilize there for America, Ho! hooah, hooah.
But Barry there ignored our troops,
To go to the gym and shoot some hoops,
So all our wounded can say is, “Barry we never saw ye.”

So this whole damned trip was just a show, hooah, hooah,
Using us troops to make it so, hooah, hooah,
He wants to be our commander in chief
But has of our mission no true belief,
So all we can say is, “Barry the devil with ye.”

When Barry comes flyin’ home agin’ hooah, hooah
We’ll remember how Barry used us then, hooah, hooah
And vote for the warrior who bore the pain,
Who earned our respect that’s John McCain,
And we’ll all be verily sayin’ “Barry we never saw ye.”

Russ Vaughn
Vietnam 65-66

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on July 27, 2008 at 10:38 PM in Music, Obamanation, Poetry, Politics, Russ Vaughn | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack