Heads up Dogs!

I know it sounds hard to believe but old war dog here just got a subscription solicitation from none other than the New York Times. Yes, I know that seems beyond even their usual ineptitude, but I swear to you it’s true. If that’s how effectively their marketing department targets potential customers, it’s no wonder their stock is sinking faster than Ted Kennedy’s car at Chappaquiddick.

Anyhow, as I was preparing to toss it in the round file I remembered that there was probably a prepaid return envelope enclosed. Sure enough, there it was. I was holding in my hand a few cents worth of overhead that could hasten their traitorous demise. I know, I know, it’s pennies out of hundreds of millions but it still feels good to know that I am personally doing my small part to send Punk Sulzberger and his seditious rag into penury.

Besides, I got to add a personal statement, typed in 46 point, Times New Roman. And if I may say so myself, admirable for its brevity and usual OWD sophistication:

OK, OK, I know Punk will never read my witty repartee, but I must tell you mutts, it really felt so good, sort of like getting just the tiniest little fold of skin on his flabby little pansy ass and nippin’ it real hard. And I’m panting right now, knowing I’m going to get that feeling all over again when I drop that return envelope in the mailbox.

So, Dogs, I would urge that you quit chasing the mailman for a while because he just may be bringing you your very own opportunity to nip ol’ Punk on his sissy buns.

I bet if you did it for real it would taste like chicken…heh, heh.

Woof! Woof!

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on September 8, 2006 at 12:04 AM in Media Perfidy, Russ Vaughn | Permalink

Comments

Posted by: Rurik

I applaud you. This has been a favorite hobby of Rurik for years. It is done not only with the NY Slimes. Also the unsolicited financial scammers, the phony mailbox evangelists, assorted political surveys form the good (sic) folks at the local greenie or gun-grabber organization, the list is almost endless. And further, Rurik likes to stuff those envelopes with their letters and inserts as tight and as heavy as he can. If I can pinch ol'Pinch for 39 cents, why not make it 64? Even more fun is to encourage them to "talk to each other". Send the gun grabbers the inserts and forms from Code Pink, who may get the financial scam letters, who in their own turn get the poop from PETA. Let the circle remain unbroken. Just sharin' the love.

Posted by: Rurik | Sep 8, 2006 10:45:02 AM

Posted by: Frankly Opinionated

All right! My buddy, next door here in the Florida Panhandle, got a telephone sales call,(which he really, really dislikes in general), from the NY Slimes. He sucked this poor salesgirl in, and then lit into her. It was right during one of their apex times when they were all Murtha'ed up. Good post Russ, nuf sed

Posted by: Frankly Opinionated | Sep 8, 2006 4:14:00 PM