Under the heading "Democrats Reorganize for Victory" TCSDAILY presents a hilarious satire by one William S. Smith, a Californian like none other. In his *report* he describes an imaginary 2006 victory rally led by Senator Joseph Lieberman, flanked by none other than Ted Kennedy, ex-Senator Zell Miller, and heroic, lantern-jawed John Forbes Kerry.  Lieberman's opening salvo goes like this:

Holding aloft a thick binder entitled Muscular Democrats -- A Comprehensive Plan for
Something Other Than Moral Victory, Lieberman said, "this plan pulls Democrats back
from  the precipice of treason onto the solid ground of loyalty that America's
opposition parties have always occupied during times of war."

The prize for political satire goes to this *quotation* from Senator Kerry:

Kerry added: "Our plan will assure every American that this election will be decided
almost exclusively or at least primarily on domestic issues and to a lesser, but still
significant extent, on the tactical elements of America's foreign and security policy.
These  are areas where we Democrats have historically said--and may, during this
important election season, potentially, or at least theoretically, and at the very worst
hypothetically, have something important or perhaps new or different or possibly
unusual or thought-provoking or influential or even exciting, and always in a very
pro-American and patriotic way, and also, let me assure you as strongly as possible
on this point, in a brawny, manly and certainly non-flip-floppy way, notwithstanding
the attempts of our political opponents to say otherwise--to say."

Mr. Smith offers us a lavish selecion of pearls, including a magnificent rant by Zell Miller, echoing his speech at the 2004 Republican National Convention. His peroration goes like this:

And in a purgative note, Miller added: "We're also going to ditch all those
supercilious twerps from our party like Michael Moore, MoveOn.Org, George
Soros and Daily Kos. And we don't have much use for Cindy Sheehan, those
Benedict Arnolds in the State  Department or pipsqueaks like Ned Lamont or
Jimmy Carter."

The reader can also savor a tearful avowal of error by Senator Edward Kennedy. [No spoiler here]

Wait...we're not quite done yet. Under the rubric "Author Articles" at the top of the right-hand sidebar, TCS links to a number of earlier columns by Mr. Smith, and offers the reader the option of update alerts to announce Smith's future efforts.  Enough comic relief to keep the most pessimistic conservative in a sunny mood throughout this long, dreary election season.

Contributed by John Werntz on September 2, 2006 at 03:49 AM in Current Affairs, Dem Dumbness, Jean Fraud Kerry, Joe Lieberman, John "72nd TCS" Werntz | Permalink

Comments

Posted by: John

CORRECTION:

Sorry everybody. That obviously should be "selection of pearls" under the Kerry quote.

Posted by: John | Sep 1, 2006 1:18:02 PM