Gene Harrison: New Israeli War Plan Intercepted
Contributed by Bill Faith
Bumped in honor of the pending holiday. Originally posted 2006.09.19.14:52
[An original work by Gene Harrison, translated from MS Word to HTML by Bill Faith]
Intercepted
New Israeli War Plan intercepted, decrypted and translated.
We have intercepted an order of battle that describes the new Israeli Military War Plan, for implementation on the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashona). The code name for the War Plan is three Hebrew alphabetical symbols: Tet2 Fe Tet. The translation that follows is a descriptive approximation, insofar as our decryption and translation technologies are somewhat limited. Translators notes or other ambiguities are parenthesized. Help was received from contacts in Atlanta. 
The primary function of this War Plan is defensive, however responses to attack are inherently part of any defense. Regardless of the precision of a defensive response, Israel can in no way guarantee that non-combatants, including civilians, children, or the sick and wounded will not be hurt or killed as a result of an attack upon the nation of Israel.
The War plan (transliterated) Tet2 Fe Tet is an open document. This means that anyone can read and understand the nature of our defense posture. This will result in savings for any enemy of Israel, insofar as they will not need spies or intelligence in order to anticipate our response to hostilities.
Section I: The geography of any (all?) potential enemy of the State of Israel will be partitioned into (roughly) square segments of a size contingent on our selection of a reactive weapon. One may construe this as a division of the enemy geography as a checkerboard. Each square in the checkerboard is assigned a unique numerical identifier, e.g., Lebanon 6219.
Section II: Each square of an enemy’s land mass is a potential target for a retaliatory strike that may include air strikes, missiles, artillery fire, infantry assault, etc. The selection of a retaliatory weapon is completely discretionary, but will normally conform to a minimum use of force.
Section III: The central principle of Tet2 Fe Tet is the method of selection of the number of squares to be targeted, Ni, and the identifiers of the target locations Tj (as described in Section I).
Section IV: Determination of Ni; this number is calculated as follows:
For each incursion, I of a hostile nature, the value of Ni = I2
Section V: Determination of target locations Tj:
A computational equivalent of a roulette wheel with slots equal in number to the location numbers, Tj will be “spun” I2 times, each outcome defining the strike point of the retaliatory force. You will note that for a single (possibly accidentally hostile) event, I2 = 1, and so the retaliation is as minimal as the incursion.
Section VI: We list some consequences to foreign nationals who are present in a country that attacks the State of Israel. This list is intended to prevent unnecessary potential loss of life or property because of Israel’s defensive actions.
- The probability of accidental death to a foreigner in an enemy’s country is proportional to the square of the magnitude of the attack.
- Israel can accept no responsibility for loss of life, or destruction of property engendered by anyone harmed by an Israeli Tet2 Fe Tet response to military action by an enemy state.
- In the case of stateless organizations (terrorists) the state from which their attack is launched will be the selected target of the Tet2 Fe Tet response. It is not Israel’s intention to place blame or to harm any nation for a terrorist attack originating in a putatively neutral state, only to increase the cost to any nation that does not ferret out terrorists and bring them to local justice.
This concludes the translation of the new Israeli defense position, but we did note that insofar as their position on war and peace is clearly defined, it is the responsibility of the world community, and the world media to understand the principles described here.
The translators have concluded that the new Israeli War Plan is similar to an old American cold war targeting plan for nuclear retaliation, or first strike target selection, first proposed by a (still secret) RAND memorandum prepared by John von Neumann, the inventor of “game theory.” This game strategy is commonly designated “tit for tat” and may be the appropriate significance of the Israeli Tet2 Fe Tet designation raised to the power of 2.
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