A "Best of Old War Dogs" featured post. The webmaster is backdating this post to keep it near the top of the blog for a while. Please scroll down for newer posts.

This item was originally posted 2006.08.16.14:35.

Author’s Note:  Please forgive this old dog as he stumbles across all bounds of conservative decency in an attempt to embrace his feminine side to write this letter.

Dear George,

There comes a time in most relationships when passions wane; replaced with feelings of restless discontent and yearning.  While all love is not lost, those little quirks I once thought to be cute I now recognize as character flaws and the minor imperfections that were easily overlooked have recently begun a slow but steady transformation to hideous warts my eyes can no longer avoid. 

When you first courted me six years ago, there were other suitors that had my eye, but it didn’t take long before you stood out in the crowd.  While most of my friends tried to convince me that you weren’t the right one, I knew that you were special and held great promise.  And though it was a rather short engagement, I was so proud that day you took your vow to defend and protect me.

You were diligent in your work and soon were able to let us both keep more of our hard earned dollars. I have to admit that in my excitement over the larger paychecks, it didn’t bother me at first that you were running up the credit cards. I just believed in you. 

But more than at anytime in our relationship, it was that dark day in our first year when our home was invaded.  I was devastated and in despair, while you remained calm; taking quick and decisive action.  I was never so proud.  Even my old friends that didn’t approve of our relationship were now beginning to have a change of heart.  I felt vindicated in my choice of you as a partner. 

Over the next few years, there were plenty of rough times, but I was happy to face them with you.  In fact I have never felt more exhilarated as I did in the months leading to our fourth anniversary.  I was more than willing to share in your battles and defeat all of those that threatened our happiness.  When we renewed our vows, it was just as thrilling as the first time.

But now it is eighteen months since that happy occasion and I find myself questioning our union.  I keep asking myself, “is it just me?”   But the fact is George, the problem is you!  You are not the man I first knew and there doesn’t seem to be a satisfactory explanation.  And do you want to know what really hurts?  More and more of my friends are badmouthing you and I feel ashamed that there are times I agree with them.  Where did we go wrong?

I know you work long hours and it had taken a toll on you.  But even the little things you neglect are beginning to get to me.  How many times do I have to ask you to put up a fence around the yard?  The damn neighbors keep stomping through the flower bed and leaving trash all over the place.  And the credit cards!  It appears that as soon as you max one out, you get two more and start over again.  That small raise you got for us isn’t enough to make the minimum payment on all of them.  And if you aren’t careful, even that extra money you got for us might be taken back soon.

Now, please don’t take this the wrong way, because I still believe that you’re faithful.  But I am getting concerned with all of the time you’ve been spending with that Condi woman at work.  Ever since you gave her that promotion you seem to be less concerned about doing your job correctly and more concerned with how you look.  It’s not just me saying this George.  Most of your old friends are noticing this change as well. 

You used to be bold, take stands and whether anyone liked what you had to say or not most people took you at your word.  But in these past weeks you have really let me and your friends down.  You don’t have enough friends left George to keep disappointing the few that have stuck with you. 

Although this is not an ultimatum, there are a few things you need to attend to if you expect any peace and contentment at home.  First, do something about the next door neighbors tramping through our yard all the time.  I don’t feel like I can even leave our own house some days.  Secondly, cut up the credit cards and don’t apply for any more.  I know we can’t pay them off all at once, but quit adding to the problem.  And as far as those neighbors across the street, you’re wasting your time calling city hall. They won’t do anything, and most of that gang is in cahoots with the neighbors anyway. I think these are people you’re just going to have to deal with directly.  You know, like you did before.

I could threaten to leave you, but I think you know me too well to believe that I could.  Besides, I’m really not interested in finding someone new at this time.  I just want the old George back.  You know; the tough guy who was willing to go to bat for his friends and protect me.  I know you have it in you.  Come back George, please.

With affection,
Me

P.S.  Dump that broad at work and get the damned fence up now!

Contributed by The Gray Dog on August 19, 2006 at 12:01 PM in Best of Old War Dogs, Current Affairs, G W Bush, The Gray Dog | Permalink

Comments

Posted by: Bill Faith

So, when are you going to give someone else a decent shot at the top of the page?

Posted by: Bill Faith | Aug 16, 2006 2:40:29 PM

Posted by: 1st Cav

Thats so damn good it should be published far and wide. Email it direct to him and please add my signature.

Posted by: 1st Cav | Aug 16, 2006 3:48:00 PM

Posted by: Jim Bartimus

Sheesh Gray Dog, I didn't realize the alpha male had a feminine side. It sounds like Val may have had some influence on you after all. Let's just hope somebody else is paying attention to that message.
We need all the strong women we can get and fortunately some of us are married to one. We either work together or the marriage fails.
I myself just do what is necessary, even it does involve a little emotion at times. I will not give up my right to be pissed off in the process.
Ya, I know, it's time I listened to a little Allison Kraus "Doubting Thomas" or "Chocktaw" or something to bring it all into prespective.
Nice work "Piano Man". Hooah!

Posted by: Jim Bartimus | Aug 16, 2006 8:49:39 PM

Posted by: Zero Ponsdorf

Well done!

Posted by: Zero Ponsdorf | Aug 17, 2006 6:14:37 AM

Posted by: Rurik

Absolutely extraordinary.
I just hope that when George walks out, you won't make the mistake of hooking up with his broad, like some of your friends are suggesting.

Posted by: Rurik | Aug 17, 2006 12:38:13 PM

Posted by: Jim Bartimus

Rurik,
I was simply commenting on Gray Dogs work. I didn't mean to infer anything by my comment other than my respect for a couple of true musicians and their contributions to our nation. Please don't read anything into the music I was listening to at the time I posted. It wasn't for nefarious reasons at all. If you get a chance you might want to listen to some of the music that has been produced by Gray Dog and the lady that sings.
It's good to know you're on the job Rurik and I hope this explains my previous comment. I'll try to be more poignant in the future.

Posted by: Jim Bartimus | Aug 18, 2006 7:58:22 PM

Posted by: Rurik

Oops. Another misunderstanding in play. I was referring to the George in the letter. and hoping that when Geroge leaves in two years' time, that the letter writer won't take up with "George's woman (I think that means Condi), once he's gone. Your comments were not on my mind at all. Sorry for any misunderstandings.

Posted by: Rurik | Aug 18, 2006 10:44:43 PM

Posted by: Jim Bartimus

I'm the one that took things out of context Rurik. I agree 100% with your take on this issue. My only hope is that those of us that are doing the voting will have some good choices in the 2008 elections. I try to remain optimistic, but nothing would surprise me anymore.
Sorry about the loose round George, I'll try to avoid that in the future.

Posted by: Jim Bartimus | Aug 19, 2006 7:13:03 AM