A "Best of Old War Dogs" featured post. The webmaster is backdating this post to keep it near the top of the blog for a while. Please scroll down for newer posts.

This item was originally posted 2006.08.18.23:00 in honor of Slick Willy Clinton's 60th birthday on 2006.08.19.  Hell yes it's in very poor taste. So was Bill Clinton.

A New Willy

(Willy, British slang for the male sexual appendage; also a diminutive form of William, e.g. Slick Willy)

Now don’t think me foolish, or just being silly,
When I say that the Democrats need a new Willy.
Their Willy’s gone soft amid fortune and fame,
He’s no longer up, standing tall for the game.
This Willy’s content with the new life he’s found,
Able now to engage in full time fooling ‘round.
Book deals and speech fees have made life so frilly
He’s lost his hard edge, their once potent Willy.

The Left wants a Willy to take on the Right;
A Willy they know will be up for the fight.
They thought theirs was bigger in 2004,
Their John had a Willy with scars from the war;
But the soccer moms voted for ol’ Georgie boy,
Turned on not at all by Teresa’s sex toy.
So again I must say and insist it’s not silly,
If Dems wanna win, they need a new Willy.

Yep Willy’s turned sixty, for Dems a sad day,
With no new young Willies yet ready to play.
Al Gore’s such a bore, so petty and prissy;
Their pretty boy Edwards comes off as a sissy;
And Kerry proved last time he’s just a big wimp;
Yep, for Dems it appears all their Willies are limp.
Their butt’s in a barrel headed straight for Niagara,
Doctor Dean should prescribe pre-election Viagra.

Dems need a firm Willy for the coming election,
One sticking out front, pointing out their direction;
But the Mooresoros Moonbats will take a hard stand,
Demanding a Willy they can squeeze in their hand.
Right now they are thinking a hard-as-nails Hillie,
May be all they have to replace their old Willy;
Not quite the real deal, but hey, what’s the harm?
Like a dildo she’ll do, just lacking the charm.

But who wants our country run by such sillies,
As folks who can’t tell their Hill’s from their Willies?

Russ Vaughn

Webmaster's note: If you came here via a link from another site you might also appreciate My birthday gift to President Clinton.

Contributed by Russ Vaughn on August 20, 2006 at 12:01 PM in Best of Old War Dogs, Poetry, Russ Vaughn | Permalink

Comments

Posted by: The Gray Dog

LOL! "Election" night will forever have a new meaning!

Posted by: The Gray Dog | Aug 19, 2006 8:50:29 AM

Posted by: Rurik

If they think a new willy will save them I say
Sausage needs eggs for breakfast each day.
When I hear those EUniks speak in thier halls
Its clear they are pricks without any balls.
And as for their ladies, I can only be blunt,
Hillary's just an obnoxious .... pelosi.

Posted by: Rurik | Aug 19, 2006 2:02:55 PM

Posted by: Zero Ponsdorf

ROFLMAO!

Frilly Hilly wants a Willy!

Hate to reduce your effort to a schoolyard taunt, I can't get the image out of my mind. AGGHHH! Make it stop!

Posted by: Zero Ponsdorf | Aug 19, 2006 6:00:26 PM

Posted by: RichardM

"And as for their ladies, I can only be blunt,
Hillary's just an obnoxious .... pelosi."

Did you know that the Italian surname 'Pelosi' means 'hairy' which is rather appropriate for [the word that rhymes with 'blunt'].

Technically, the word 'pelosi' is a plural form, so it implies 'hairy men' or 'hairy people' but, hey, that's what poetic licence is for.

Posted by: RichardM | Aug 20, 2006 5:54:16 AM

Posted by: Debbie

That's just great and so are the comments. I wish I could add something to it, but I don't have a rhyming bone (um, willy) in me. heh
Actually, rumor has it that Hilly isn't into Willies ...

Posted by: Debbie | Aug 20, 2006 1:55:30 PM